


Rome, 5:16

by bellarosa



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bed Sex, Bedroom Sex, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Italy, Love, M/M, Morning After, Morning Cuddles, Morning Kisses, Morning Sex, Oral Sex, Passion, Roma | Rome, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:13:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22052314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarosa/pseuds/bellarosa
Summary: Early morning in Rome.
Relationships: Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer
Comments: 25
Kudos: 115





	Rome, 5:16

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Here's another Charmie one-shot. I rushed to finish this before 2020., and if New Year already came to countries of some of my readers -Happy New Year, i wish you all the best! :D  
> It's 5pm here, and i have to start getting ready for the party.  
> Again, like every time, this is just a fantasy, my fantasy, this is how i picture them in my head. And honestly, for me, Rome was very telling. Their eyes, body language and the way they were looking at each other during that one certain interview (or two)...they were speaking for themselves. Rome was their city for sure, something beautiful happened there, no doubt.  
> Anyway, enjoy this one-shot, let me know what you think in the comments and let me know if you would like for me to write more Charmie one-shots because i really do enjoy writing about them.  
> I hope you're having a great day/evening, have fun tonight and i'll see you in the next year!
> 
> P.S the name 5:16 is because Armie and Tim met in May, 2016.

A sound of a zipper woke me up.

No.

First I felt the bed move. Then I felt wind blow to my naked back, and then I could hear the zipper. Whoever was making that noise made sure to do it as quietly as possible, which is why they went very slowly instead of ripping the zipper like a band-aid. Other way around, the slower you open something, the louder it gets.

Somewhere between all those little things that kept me up, I felt a kiss. A very gentle kiss at the top of my forehead. Then I felt someone’s hand caressing my curls.

I opened my eyes slowly, as slowly as I tried, but they were glued. I don’t know how or why but ever since I was a kid and I’d wake up from a very long sleep I’d have my eye-lids glued together.

There was a dimmed light coming from the balcony window behind me. It casted shadows in front of me. I was sleeping on my stomach, it was still very warm and very early in the morning.

Should I wake up or continue sleeping? I was beyond tired, and we had press and interviews all morning.

Yes.

I should wake up.

I couldn’t dare sleep through couple of more hours while instead I could be spending them with the man with whom I slept last night for the first time. It started last night and continued even after midnight and inside few more hours in the morning. It was January so the Sun comes out late but the day starts very early.

I moved my head towards the sound of the zipper. All I could see was his back. He was squatting on the floor, opening some bags, clearly looking for something. He was in his boxer briefs. I hated those things on him. Last night, I witnessed to see him either fully clothed or completely naked as the day he came into this world.

“What are you doing?” I asked. I murmured something out, my face was stuck to the mattress.

“I hope you don’t mind. I noticed you nibbling on something last night on the plane and got hungry just thinking about it.” Armie said with his back still turned towards me. My God, he’s perfect. The skin, the moles, the muscles moving in waves while he’s digging inside one of my bags.

“Right now?” I ask while smiling as hard as I could. I turn on my back and fluff the pillow behind me. He’s really something, he’s hungry right now.

“Mhm…”

“We could order room service.”

“I know. But bringing something from home, it’s mo-…Yes! Got it!” He screamed. He gets up and turns to look at me. He found what he was looking for, and in that morning, dimmed light he looks so happy, smiling with joy and pride.

I applaud him with the little strength I had left in me. I’m so fucking tired, but I’m happy.

“What time is it?” I ask him yawning.

“You asked me that already, babe.”

This was the moment my heart almost stopped. Last night was…a revelation. And I’ve always feared how our morning after scenario is going to flow. Elio’s and Oliver’s morning after was chilly and scary, I wanted to avoid that at all costs. But as much as we loved playing those characters, our lives are not theirs. The reality is that Armie is married and has two kids. The fear of him waking up the next day and realizing that he had just slept with his male co-star, a young guy, while his wedding ring was sitting on a table next to his head…that was the nightmare I was prepared to experience this morning. But Armie called me “babe”, and it made me feel a little bit better about the morning after scenario.

“I did?” I’m shocked.

“Yeah…” His mouth was already filled with food.

Armie’s looking at me while not even paying attention to what he’s taking out of the bag and putting into his mouth.

“You don’t remember?” He asks, smiling.

“No…”

“Wow. I knocked you out good.” He chuckles.

“You did…damn…”

He really did. The images are starting to come back. I felt butterflies in my stomach.

“It’s 5:16 am.” He said.

Silence. He’s eating and I’m staring at him. Oh boy, could he swallow…he emptied the entire bag in less than two minutes.

“Why are you wearing that?” I ask him and I smirk.

“What, these?” He shakes his hips. Man, he’s a dork.

I nodded.

“You don’t like them on me?” He raised one eyebrow.

“No. I want you to take them off. Now.”

“You got it.”

He throws the bag onto the floor and strips down naked in front of me. My eyes rush to examine the body of the man I consumed for hours the previous night. Armie’s a real man. He’s all muscles and skin, chest hair and long legs, silky, messy hair and beautiful bedroom, blue eyes. He’s perfect in every way that word has its meaning. But that’s one of the reasons why I lust over him: he’s physically attractive. But I’m not here for the stuff the entire world can see. It’s deeper with Armie. That sort of connection…I never had that combination of love, trust and respect with anyone else in my life so far.

There were still stains from my bodily fluids on his stomach, he hasn’t wiped them off yet.

“And come back here. Leave the food alone.” I demand. He’s intrigued.

“Missed me already, huh?”

“I’m cold without you.” I say and remove the sheets that were covering my naked body. I want us to be equal in bed.

Armie crawls into the bed and lies next to me on his back. I lower myself to be at his eye sight.

Armie raises his left hand and touches my cheek with it, I nuzzle into the touch.

“How are you?” He whispered.

“Good.”

“Everywhere?” He added.

Armie looks down my body, my legs, my tummy, my chest and my eyes, while still caressing my cheek.

“No regrets?” He asked.

“I should be the one asking you that.”

“Absolutely not. Not one bit.”

Silence. I can see that I hit something I shouldn’t have. He stops touching my cheek and turns on his side with his hand supporting his head. Armie’s frowning.

“Why did you think I’d regret sleeping with you?”

I eyed the ring next to him. He knows exactly what I’m looking at.

“It doesn’t work like that, Tim. We tried before and it didn’t work. Last night was the first time we went all the way, for real. I didn’t regret trying to sleep with you for the last 6 months, I don’t regret it now.” He says. I’m still not convinced.

“What do you mean it doesn’t work that way?” I ask him.

He smiles and holds my hand that was on my tummy.

“It’s not that simple. Being me. A man married to a woman who has two beautiful children…what you saw last night… _that_ was me, for real. I’ve always wanted to try it, to see if it fits me, to see if that’s who I was all these years. To see if some vibe I’ve been giving out into the world is the reason why I’ve been cast as a gay character three times in my career. As it turns out…I am. And I don’t regret it. I don’t regret sleeping with a man, and much less, I don’t regret sleeping with you, Tim. You’re perfect. Soon, the entire world is gonna lose their shit because of you, in a good way, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.”

I reposition myself and mirror his pose.

“I don’t care about the world. Sure, it will flatter me, if it comes to that, but I want to know about right now. I need to know you don’t hate yourself for sleeping with a man, for violating your holy words you spoke to your wife in the church, in front of God.”

“I have no regrets, Tim.” He’s serious.

Silence.

“But maybe you do.” Armie says eventually and sits on the bed, back to the bed board.

“What do you mean?” I look up at him. He can read me.

“Do you regret sleeping with me?”

“No, I told…”

“Do you regret sleeping with a married man with two kids. Do you?” He’s dead serious now. I hate myself for ever getting there.

“Well, when you put it like that…” I pick my words cautiously.

I sit next to him. Again, mirroring his move. He’s not looking at me.

“What if something happens? What if Liz finds out? What if the world finds out?” I flat out say it.

“To answer all your questions with three simple words : I don’t care.”

He finally turns to look at me. I hate that we were something else last night, and now we’re arguing. Should’ve kept my mouth shut, maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess. This is scaring me even more.

“I don’t care Tim. I wish she finds out, I wish the world knows the truth about Armie Hammer! I’m so sick and tired of lying and hiding. This is me, Tim! The guy who nursed you back on your feet when you couldn’t even hold your cock to pee. The guy who slept in the same bed and watched you breathe the entire night long. I love you. I’ve loved you the second I walked in and interrupted your piano lesson.”

“I trust Luca when he says that he saw something in me. I trust him when he says that I was the perfect Oliver. I don’t know if he said that because this movie would finally get my name out. Or was it because he’s psychic and can read people, their outsides and insides, and he saw the real me and knew how to get it out onto the surface. Whatever it was, I am thankful, and I will be thankful for the rest of my life. And one of the reasons why he deserves my eternal gratitude, respect and love…it’s because he led me to you. And to us. And I know you’d eat yourself out for sleeping with someone who’s been taken for the past 8 years, but I am telling you to stop. Please. I love you, and I don’t regret ever having any physical and intimate connection with you. You shouldn’t as well.”

Armie’s eyes are glowing.

“Tell me what’s bothering you. Don’t give me some cryptic shit.”

Why did I ever bring this shit up? He’s willing to sacrifice everything because of some boy? He’s an intelligent human being, he’s reasonable, he’s rational, people can talk to him like he’s another normal human being, why can’t I? Why can’t I admit what’s bothering me? And why should I keep all of this inside from the man who made me feel so special the night before.

“I don’t want your marriage to fall apart because of me.” I said it. There. My eyes are tearing up.

“Okay, we’re not doing this now. I need a shower.”

He gets out of the bed and heads to the bathroom. But I’m faster than him. I wipe my tears off and rush to stop him, climbing his naked back. He laughs out loud and turns around to hug me. I love when his nudity is touching my own. I love when our skins collide, when his lips get lost in my hair, when I need to get on my toes to reach him, when his huge arms embrace my waist so easily.

“I’m sorry…” I whisper against his neck. My eyes are watering again. He’s seen me cry before. Even last night, it didn’t turn him off.

“I don’t want your apologies.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to trust me. If you want this as much as…” He embraces me tighter, like that’s the moment we’re about to leave and go our separate ways.

“Yes! Of course I want it. I want you!” I’m gonna fight this.

“I want us to work, Tim. I want us to give it a try.”

He removes himself from me but keeps my head in the palms of his hands. Armie’s huge thumbs are wiping my tears away.

“I don’t want you to worry about my marriage, okay? I am the one who is going to break my marriage off. And, don’t take this the wrong way, but it has nothing to do with you. I was asked to be a part of this movie almost a decade ago and it still rose some questions about my sexuality and myself. When it was so clear to me that I simply just let go and decided not to hold back any longer…it all became so clear. I was finally breathing after so many years. And I loved it. and I wanted to breathe like that for the rest of my life. And last night…I got one more dose of oxygen I’ve been dying to meet my entire life.”

He speaks so beautifully. He’s trying so hard to show me just how much he loves me and wants me. And I’m just a stupid kid, too stubborn to understand. But I understand it.

“You get it now?”

I nodded. I did.

“When my marriage falls apart it will have nothing to do with you. It will all be my fault. We don’t interact anymore, not the way you think we do. The kids are what matter. We’re there for them. And Liz wants to keep up the appearance for a while longer, that’s what we decided with the publicist. Underneath the perfect Hammer family home…it’s not that perfect, don’t let the photoshopped pictures fool you. My marriage is falling apart, yes, and you’re not the reason behind it. The reason : Armie Hammer was reborn the day he realized what breathing is.”

“Armie, I love you…so much.” I breathe out into his palms.

“I love you too, Tim. I will not let anything or anyone get into our way, you got that?”

“I do.” I smile.

“Is that the same answer you’re gonna give when we’re getting married?” He asks with a smile. I blush. He’s serious about us. This is not a fantasy, this is real life. And boy do I want to share all of my fantasies with him.

“Armie, baby, relax, it was just sex.”

We laughed out loud together. My eyes were watering but I was happy. He swats my ass. And then we kiss. My legs were lost when I felt his lips on mine. It brought back the entire previous night. When I asked him to never stop kissing me while his fingers were inside me. Or to never remove his lips from mine while we were waiting for me to open up so he could feel me. I hugged his neck to bring him closer. If that was even possible.

He breaks the kiss but I’m not moving. I rush to kiss his nose and his cheeks. He’s chuckling the entire time.

“Listen, Tim, let’s make a pact.” He says and removes my curls from my eyes. He’s so gentle.

“Let’s hear it.”

“I really want us to give it a try, okay? I’ve never been so sure in my life about anything, but I am sure about us. If, let’s say, one day, there’s the tiniest of chance that my marriage might work, but I’m not gonna let that happen, I don’t want to go back, and if you were to meet a nice girl…or a nice guy…or want us to end this, then we’ll do it. If it’s not working, it’s not working. We don’t need to force anything anymore. But this morning, at this moment, we matter. Us. We’re working right now. I love that. If we ever change our minds, then we need to end this, and not suffer. Okay?”

I nodded. He has a very good point.”

“You said a girl…and a guy after that…according to last night I’ll be swinging for one team only from now on.”

Armie laughs and shakes his head.

“Get back into bed.” He says and swats my ass again, I jump a little but do as I was told.

I get back and lie on my back, and soon, he’s on top of me, straddling my hips. I ran my hand up his chest just to feel him. He bents down and kisses me again, this time with tongue, and repositions to lies next to me and pulls me towards himself. Armie extends one of his arms underneath my head for me to lie there and is pulling me towards him and deepening the kiss. I threw my left leg over his hip.

We stop to breathe and for Armie to make an even more comfortable position.

“When are we supposed to be there?” He asks looking at me. This is the same look he had on last night.

“At around 9.”

I turn around to check my phone. It was 5:30.

“We still have some time.” I add.

“You wanna sleep some more?” He offers.

“No, I’m not tired.”

“What do you wanna do instead?” He asks, but it was useless.

We looked at each other, he’s smirking, I’m probably smirking as well.

Time for talking is over. Let our bodies do the talking now. Armie pulls me in for another kiss and I let my hands slide down his body.

Almost instantly, I grab his cock and start stroking it slowly, we’re not in any rush. His eyes never left mine, our hands were wandering all over each other’s bodies but those eyes…they stayed put. We engaged in a passionate foreplay the previous night, I wanted to do it again. Armie stopped staring at me and he moved to kissing and biting the skin on my neck, I’m dying slowly. God, he loves my skin, he’s taking his time, kissing it, licking it, biting it lightly so there are no visible marks for the world to see while we’re promoting the movie. Either way, I couldn’t care less if there’s a mark and if people could see and ask questions, let them. He’s getting harder and harder in my hand, slowly and steady but soon we’ll be where we were the previous night. Foreplay is crucial to every relationship, it’s not just about sex.

Armie had changed our position and now I’m left lying on my back with my head thrown on the pillow, enjoying the feeling of electricity running through my body as he continues to nibble on my neck.

“I love your smell…” He breathes out as he continues to move down my body, kissing and licking both of my collarbones.

Then he moved to my nipples and laughed when I shivered once I felt his tongue there. With one of his hands he moved south and began touching my cock, and with the other one he searched for my hand to intertwine our fingers. His tongue was still caressing my nipples.

“Relax…it’s me…”

At one point I heard him say this but I was more focused on my breathing. I am trying to relax, I know it’s you, I trust you and I love you.

Armie then moved to kissing my stomach, with both of his hands doing what they’ve been doing the entire time.

“What an adorable belly button…” He whispered and licked it. I laughed and felt the sensation run through me.

Then he reached my cock and I was gone.

I grabbed both of his hands and held him there as he was doing his best to orally please me that early in the morning. He knows with whom he’s dealing with, he knows how sensitive I get when I feel him down there. That might never change, or I just need time to process that it’s actually Armie there and he loves me and worships my body. I’ve been sensitive since the first time he dived down there. Now he’s swallowing me, kissing my cock, licking it, teasing me a little, but he does all of that with such ease and such low speed, and with so much love. I keep looking down at him enjoying himself, his eyes are beaming, I want to frame him like this and keep it with myself at all times. I take my right hand back and caress his hair, I need to touch it.

Armie’s legs were probably hanging from the bed but I knew he couldn’t care less. I was his number one priority, just like I was the previous night.

And now, it was early in the morning, we were in Rome, sharing the same bed where hours before we lost track of time and space.

“Ah…” I’m silently moaning by this point, it’s so good.

Armie is not stopping, he’s swallowing me completely, making me lose everything in my power. My eyes are closed most of the time but I know he’s staring at me. I’m tugging his hair and pushing his head down my crotch. I need him deeper.

Soon, he pops me out and breathes, he’s stroking me and looking at me. He goes back and kisses me, with tongue, I can taste myself on his tongue.

We kissed again and now I made a turn and was the one straddling him, then I fell onto my side. I came face to face with the balcony. I had an amazing view of Rome right in front of me. My back is turned to him, I need him that close, I need to feel him as we’re about to intertwine our bodies together once more.

“You sure?” He whispers against the back of my neck and kisses it.

“Mhm. I felt really good last night in this position.” I turn to look at him.

“Okay, baby.” He kisses me again.

“It’s really comfortable.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded.

“Let me just get ready.” He said and left the bed. I continued lying on my side, waiting for him.

Getting ready meant to find the bottle of lube that fell off the bed somewhere in the middle of the night. We both agreed to carry one at all times. In the beginning, we used saliva. I think it was just him being a gentleman by not carrying a bottle of lube while he was going to visit his friend in New York. If he were to bring it, it would just seem like he’s there for sex. And I always felt uncomfortable buying one and I lend all that responsibility on his shoulders.

Couple of months ago, we were still trying and when we couldn’t, we mostly did hand stuff and oral pleasuring. Last night was the first time we went all the way. I guess all those times we gave it an inch and more had finally paid off because it was completely harmless the previous night.

We never used condoms. That was my idea.

************************************

“We should get tested.” I said to him one day while we were in Los Angeles in his house, this was before we even gave it a first try.

“What? Why?” He looked up from his phone with such panic.

“To be safe.” I said as I began packing my clothes. It was time to leave LA and go home.

“But I’m clean.”

“What if I’m not?”

“You are, don’t worry about it.”

He shushed me and moved on with whatever he was doing. It didn’t feel right.

“Armie, I if we’re gonna do this, for real, I want us to feel safe and I want us to feel each other and not a piece of latex wrapper. We’re getting tested.”

He looked up again.

“What are we even gonna test?”

“HIV, Hepatitis C.”

“I don’t have it. I don’t have the symptoms.” He said.

“Neither do I. But the fact is that an HIV virus can live inside your body from 6 weeks up to 6 months, or even from 6-10 years and you wouldn’t even know it.”

“What are the symptoms, maybe I’ve had them already.” He chuckled. He thinks this is a joke.

“Fatigue, nausea, insomnia…”

“Stop it.” He’s laughing by that point.

“Also, swollen lymph nodes, bruises on your gums in your mouth, a yeast infection called Candida…”

“How do you know all of this?”

“I researched it. I want us to have sex without condoms, and this is the way to do it.”

He’s silent. He’s not laughing, now we’re getting somewhere.

“Tim, I um…ugh…”

I moved towards him and knelt next to his legs.

“I know it’s terrifying, try to stay positive, I’m sorry I scared you right now, but I need us to be safe, okay?” I said.

“How could you’ve gotten it? You told me your last girlfriend was a year ago before we met.”

“A year is enough. The period of incubation is from 6 weeks to 6 months. Or even more.”

“6-10 years.” He finishes the sentence for me.

“Yeah.” I nod.

“How would I even have it. I have two small kids, they’re perfectly healthy.”

“Did you sleep with somebody else while you were married?”

“No…no…I don’t think so…fuck…” He’s rubbing the corners of his eyes now. What a drastic change of events.

“You can’t remember if you slept with somebody else that isn’t your wife? This is exactly why we need to get tested.”

“It doesn’t matter. I didn’t. I’m trying to change the mood…How else could I’ve gotten it?”

I think a little, but then I just flat out say it :“Liz?”

“How could Liz…”

I’m silent.

“Wait. What are you saying, Liz cheated on me? Is that it?”

“I don’t know. I’m just saying we should get tested.” I’m avoiding his eyes.

“Did she cheat on me?”

“I don’t know, Armie. But at this point, does it really matter?”

He thinks for a millisecond.

“It doesn’t.”

He’s silent and breathing, I’m already regretting taking it this far.

“Look, Armie, I love you and I want us to work or to at least try if you’re still with me. But I’m looking after our health and our lives first.”

“But I’m clean!” Armie snaps.

“What if I’m not?!”

Silence. Armie thinks for a second and then gets in my face.

“Did you do something you shouldn’t have?” He asks.

Busted.

“No…I…” I’m avoiding his eyes again.

“Tim…you can tell me if you did.”

“I didn’t…”

“I won’t judge, I promise. We’re not bonded legally, there is not a sign that says “taken” on your forehead. I just want to know why you’re insisting on this test so much.” He caresses my cheek and lifts my head to look at him. I want to tell him, he needs to know. But if I do…I’m gonna lose him.

“I don’t want us to use condoms. But in order to do that we must be sure that we’re completely safe and healthy.”

He exhales without any ease and gets up. He’s now walking around the room, thinking, his hands are on his hips. I miss his hands on my face.

“Okay, let’s put it this way. I’ve been married for the past 7 years, I have two kids and we’re all healthy. You had a girlfriend a year and a half ago, and I assume you weren’t an idiot and didn’t use a condom.” He said.

“We did.”

“Then what’s the big deal then?”

“I just…ugh…” I felt like crying.

“Tell me what you did. I won’t get mad, I promise.”

I stand up and look at him. God, he’s gonna hate me, he wouldn’t want anything to do with me when I tell him. He can read me, he sees through me, he knows something is wrong. I guess it’s my time to come clean. If that’s what I am.

“Fuck…okay…couple of months ago I…I was home and I was really sad, lonely and depressed, I needed you, I tried calling you so many times just to hear your voice, and then you posted a picture with you pregnant wife and I lost it. So I went to the nearest gay bar, picked up a guy and went to the bathroom with him. I gave him a…fuck, I hate myself right now…” I’m crying, my head will fall to the floor.

“Continue…” Is all he says, he’s calm.

“I gave him a blow job.” I finally said it.

I hear him breathing just normally.

“And he came into my mouth.”

“Got it.”

“I feel awful now. I’m the one who needs to do the test, not you…I can’t…”

I’m hysterical, tears are flowing down my face, snot is coming from my nose and my mouth. I wanted for the Earth to open up and swallow me. I don’t deserve him. I hate myself. He can’t hate me more than I despise myself.

“Hey, hey, hey, Timmy, baby, look at me.”

He’s not letting me fall down, he catches me and embraces me completely. Armie’s kissing my hair and my cheeks. He’s so sweet.

“It’s okay. Is that why you’re been so upset? It’s no big deal. We’ve all been there, we’ve all picked up a random person and went to bed with them. Did you have sex?” He asks.

I’m weak, I’m hyperventilating.

“Sssh, calm down, breathe…it’s no big deal, I don’t care about that, Tim. Did you guys have sex?”

“No, I swear. We didn’t get that far. He was either high or drunk, everything was over within 5 minutes. I went home and cried myself to sleep. I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not…why didn't you go do the test when it happened?”

"I don't know. I thought everything was okay."

"Tim, everything _is_ okay. Trust me."

I look up at him. God, he’s so beautiful. I could’ve been the luckiest person alive to be with him, and now…

“He won’t recognize me when the movie comes out.” I said.

“How can you be sure?”

“I used a fake name, I wore Pauline’s reading glasses and a beanie.”

He nods with a smile. Armie’s impressed.

“Good boy.”

He kisses my forehead.

“Do you hate me now?” I have to ask.

“Of course not.”

“You promise?”

“I promise. And I’ll do the test as well. Just to be sure.” He said finally. I’m feeling relieved.

“Thank you, thank you…” I hung myself from his neck. He squeezes me tightly and lifts me up until I make the sound.

“Tim, I…it’s gonna sound silly, but…I’m terrified of needles.” He says when he puts me down.

I couldn’t believe it. He can’t be serious.

“The almighty Armie Hammer is afraid of a tiny needle? Come on, man, it’s just one poke.”

“I know, I’m terrified.”

“Okay, I get it.”

I try not to laugh but it’s hard.

“Where are we gonna do the testing anyway? Everybody knows me here.” Armie says.

“You’re coming to New York next week. When you get here, I’ll call the private laboratory I’ve been going there for years now. They’re really nice, they won’t say a thing and they won’t judge.”

“But you were sick just few weeks ago. Couldn’t they see the spike in your blood if you have a virus?” He asks.

“With HIV is different. There is one special test just for HIV, the results are gonna be in 3 days, I checked.”

“I don’t know Tim. Those needles…”

“Are you scared of the needles or of the results.”

Silence. I know what scares me.

“If it will make you feel better, I’ll do it. I’m not scared of the results. I know we’re both negative.

“Thank you. I want us to be sure. There is no other way of getting it except sexually way or a direct contact of blood on blood.” I say.

“You’re a very smart kid.”

“I’m just looking after both of our health and lives.”

He pulls me in and kisses me, I’m breathing again.

“Kissing?”

“Not unless you have it and you have opened wounds in your mouth and I have opened wounds as well. Not by saliva.”

“So only semen and blood?”

“Exactly.”

I nod and we kiss again.

“You’re gonna be fine. You don’t have it. I promise you, Tim, you’re clean.”

Let’s say I believed him.

A week later, Armie came to New York and I made an appointment to go and to the damn test. We went there, they took our blood and told us the results will be ready in 3 days. They said we need to come personally, they can’t give that type of information over the phone. The nurses that work there knows me, and promised not to say a word, about the test and about Armie.

We went back to my place and chilled for the rest of the day. I know I scared him, I may have ruined a part of me, I’m not perfect anymore in his eyes, but I caught him staring at me the same way he’d stare even before I told him what I did. We slept well. As the days went by, and as closer as it was coming the more aware I’ve become that there’s nothing wrong with us. We slept in the same bed, hugging each other, kissing even more. He thought he could have me in every way possible but didn’t stop to think about the consequences. Maybe this is the reality. This was me being serious about us and maybe now we’re finally waking up.

After three days we went there to get the results. The doctor first read my results and then his. We were both negative, and perfectly healthy. Negative for HIV, negative for Hepatitis C.

I could hear Armie breathe out heavily when he heard that we were negative. I cried the entire way back to my place. There was no way of getting it now. I didn’t have it, he didn’t have it, no one we ever got intimate had it. We were healthy and were allowed to go and finally have sex.

“Whatever you might think right now, I haven’t changed my opinion about you, what so ever. Tim, you’re still perfect to me. Whatever happens, I just want us to be honest with each other. I’m not mad at all, I have no reason to be, we’ve all been there. I just wanted to know why you insisted on this test so much.” He stopped me in the hallway right outside my apartment and told me this.

He held my hand in his.

“I will, I will be honest, from now on, I promise.” I kissed his hand.

“We’ll talk more about the past soon. I’m very much fucked up. Right now, we need to celebrate that we’re both healthy.”

“Agree…” I said with a smile.

Three days later, we tried the first time and failed. Six months later, we went to Rome and finally made love for the first time.

****************************

Armie jumped back onto the bed and positioned himself behind me. He extended his right arm for me to lie there. I trust him completely, he knows just how much, he knows that I trust him not to hurt me on purpose at any cost, he wouldn’t dare. Armie went back to kissing and nibbling on my neck as his other hand made a trail from my shoulders, down my arm, the hip and finally he caught up with my crotch and began stroking my cock again slowly. I couldn’t decide what had more chance to finish me faster; him touching me down there or him destroying my neck. I pushed my left hand behind my back and found his cock. Armie shivered when I touched him. He moaned when I began stroking him in the same rhythm as he did to me, my God, he was still so sensitive down there. It’s only been like 3 hours the last time I felt him inside of me.

“Oh, someone’s having a naughty thought.” He whispered against my neck and bit it. That was probably because my cock twitched in his hand because I remembered the feeling of having his cock up my ass.

I must’ve blushed.

We continued the same pace for a while, couple of minutes or even 10-15 minutes of slowly stroking each other and him kissing the skin on my neck and shoulder blades. I bet he was struggling with control, I just know he wants to dive in and ruin it, that’s what he said last night. He wanted to bite the skin off my neck. It turned me on but we had stuff to do and people to talk to about the movie.

I loved the way we did this, totally natural coming to the both of us. I could’ve gone like this for hours and hours.

Eventually Armie turned me to face him with his other arm and kissed me deeply. Now we added that to the list: passionate kissing and touching each other. Let me have this every day for the rest of my life, forever and I’ll ask for nothing me.

“You ready?” He breathed out against my lips.

No, I wasn’t ready. Not because I was scared of the pain, but because I didn’t want this to stop.

“Go slow, okay?”

“Anything you want baby…” He said and stopped stroking me. He looked around for the bottle of lube and opened it with one hand, not letting the one I was lying on ever go to action; that arm was mine.

“Fuck…” I hear him mutter behind me and I turned around.

He can’t open it with one hand, of course. I stop touching him and took it from his hand.

“Give me your hand.” I say.

He extends his left hand as I pour liquid all over his fingers.

“Thank you.” He whispered against my neck.

I close the bottle and put it next to my head on a table. I place my hand back where it was for the last couple of minutes or so. He was very hard, I could wrap my entire palm around it. It was flattering, yes, but it also scared me a little. It was not the first time he’d penetrate me, but it still made me very uneasy.

The first time he managed to get in all the way after 10 minutes of going in slow. When he tried to move, I screamed, and we stopped. After that he would make it in within 5 minutes but whenever he’d try to move faster or pull out completely and then come back in…I couldn’t take it. The night before we took off for Rome, we got together and simply worked on my tolerance level. Which meant using half the bottle of lube and Armie’s fingers. I made it to four and it felt so fucking good. I came pretty fast after he put four fingers inside me, but we somehow decide to wait until we’re somewhere far away from the USA so we can finally do it. Armie was happy and really proud of me for pulling it through and because I asked for more fingers or his cock. He said no, we should wait, I’d be too sore if we were to do it now after showing four fingers inside me. He was right, and as much as I pouted and begged him to do it, he still managed to resist me. Bastard.

Armie spread the liquid on his palm and, as he rushed to get back into kissing me and my skin, he moved his palm behind me and, as soon as I felt his fingers at my entrance, I shivered.

“Relax…” He gasped in my ear and kissed it.

To make the job easier for him, I moved my left leg upwards, in a zig-zag position. One of his fingers touched me and began massaging my hole. It felt good, the lube was cold but it would heat up pretty fast, I was waiting for his long fingers to dive inside me. He’s slow and gentle, just like I need him to be, for just a little while until I’m fully prepared to go further.

Both of my hands were free now and all I could do is wait for him to push one finger in. And he did, few seconds later. I held onto his arm where I’ve been lying for the past couple of minutes. He intertwined our fingers but keeps on pushing the entire finger in.

“Breathe…I need to hear you breathe, Tim…” He kisses my shoulder as he mutters.

I inhale and exhale, again and again.

“Breathe and relax…just like we did before. Come on, you can do it…”

“I’m trying…” I grunt against his arm and then I bit it.

Maybe another minute passes by and I’m breathing again, with my whole body, every single cell is breathing every single hole is opening up.

“Yes! Just like that, Tim…good job baby…

I smile to myself. I’m happy, he’s proud of me.

Soon, another finger joins in the first one and I simply just swallow it. Both fingers are in all the way, I don’t know how I did it. It makes no sense for me to stretch that much.

“So good baby…you’re doing so well…”

Again, I’m so happy he’s proud.

Armie doesn’t add the third one and just moves the two that are already in there. His fingers are so long. His cock is longer. Oh God…I can’t wait to feel him again.

Armie waits for me stabilize my breathing so that he can move the fingers. I give him a nod as a signal and he certainly isn’t wasting any time. I feel the fingers pulling out of me slowly, knuckle by knuckle and I grasp onto his arm again.

“It’s okay, breathe…you wanna stop?”

I shake my head, furiously.

“I can take it.”

Then he pushes them back in and pulls them out again, and he does that five or six more times, and then starts twisting them, round and around. I’m in pain, but it’s nothing like the first few times when we gave it a try. Now I don’t mind it, I just want for it to go away as soon as possible so that I can feel good like I did the previous night.

“You know what Tim?”

“Hm?”

“This is exactly how I pictured Elio and Oliver in Rome. Just like this. And we’re in Rome as well.” I can feel him smile.

“I can see that. See?”

I turned to look at him.

“I have such a beautiful view.”

“I beg to differ.”

He kisses me and touches my nose with his.

“ _I_ have the most beautiful view here.”

I smile with teeth, I needed time to process what he said, and I probably blushed.

“Tonight…if you’re up to it…I’d like to try something different?”

“Shoot.” I’m intrigued, for real.

“Nah, that’s for tonight.” Bastard.

“Armie…”

“Na-ah, I’ll let you think about it. Use your imagination.”

I imagined us like this only hotter and going at it like bunnies. He took me from behind and smashed my head into the pillow. He was talking dirty to me, caressing my back and tugging my hair. That was my fantasy when it came to us in bed.

I licked my lips at the thought of it.

“What is going on in your head, baby, tell me…”

“It’s private.”

“I’m a part of you right now, literally. Talk or I’m stopping the action.”

“You wouldn’t dare…”

He chuckled.

“Try me…”

“I’ll tell you tonight. Use your imagination.”

See how that feels. He smirked at me and kissed me once more. I love kissing him.

“Ah! Ah! Fuck…” I moaned, loud, for the first time in a while, and I grasped onto the edge of the mattress. I felt him smile against my neck as he was, once again, devouring it. It made me twist and arch my pelvis into his hand. I was close to begging for the rest of his hand.

Oh, what a clever man. He distracted me from the pain with an even more sexual fantasy. Just an image of us doing it tonight turned me on so much and that probably made me open up even more. Clever, clever man.

“Yes!”

“Oh my Go-ohd Armie…mmmm…faster…”

He obeyed. He started twisting two fingers faster in and out of my hole.

“Oh! Yeahh!”

I wouldn’t dare to hold my screams inside, no way. He needs to hear me. He needs to know what he does to me. He needs to know that his power has such an impact on me that at 6 in the morning I wasn’t giving a single damn if anyone were to hear us, or to find out. Fuck it, this is us, I can do this, I’ll relax and practice, I want him in my bed and between my legs for the rest of my life. Fuck everything else, I want this! I want him!

“Fuck! Aaaarrrmmmiiieeee!”

I turned around in a heat of passion and pulled him in to kiss him, but I did everything but kiss him. I was biting his lips and licking his chin, sucking in on his tongue, what a mess.

“You ready?”

“Fuck yeah!”

He pulled out his fingers and before I even knew what was going on, he extended his body over mine and reached for the bottle of lube. I could’ve gotten it for him but he looked kinda in a hurry. I turned around to see what was going on and saw that he poured the liquid all over his stone hard cock, then he slicked up and lined up with my entrance. I turned back and grabbed his hand, I was prepared to take off.

“Come on, Armie…”

“Oooh, someone’s in a rush, huh?”

“I just need to feel you inside me.”

I awoke the beast, because not only two seconds later he pushed inside me in with his full length.

“AH!” I screamed as loud as I could, nails digging into his skin. Fuck, that burned.

I think I let some blood flow from his hand, I couldn’t see, my eyes were closed as I screamed again from my throat.

“Fuck, Armie…oh…” Now that he was fully in, I took the time to adjust to his size. Fuck, he was huge.

“Breathe, just breathe…you can do it, I know you can…”

I am breathing, I am breathing, breathing, inhale, exhale, breathe, inhale, exhale…I want to feel good again.

But Armie had different plans. He wrapped my chest with the arm I was just now lying on, and with his other arm, he managed to wrap my tummy and half of my thighs. He’s now glued behind me, my arms are over his as he started to move inside. I thought I was gonna lose it, I was seeing stars with him pressing me from behind. It felt magnificent. There was not a part of my body that wasn’t attached to him.

“Oh…ah…Armie…”

I pushed my pelvis back even more into his touch. I felt his cock going in and out of my body, and I hated every time he’d pull out, it was like another spell broke, and oxygen came inside and I didn’t want it. I didn’t want oxygen, I wanted to breathe in whatever he was giving to me, I’d settle for that any day of the week.

At one point I realized how much I lived inside my head that I actually started crying. He’s seen me cry last night and he stayed put. Now I did the same, and again, Armie stayed by my side, feeling up my insides. He was panting against my ear, that gave me chills but it was a fucking turn on because he was breathing that way because of me, and nobody else.

Why did we wait this long to sleep together for real? Why after almost two years of knowing each other we finally gave in and did what was inside our minds since the moment he walked into my piano lesson? Fuck the pain, I handled that pretty well, now. Why were we in this situation where the world could see it and not believe it? I love this man, with all my heart, with all my being, I adore him, I worship him, I know he feels the same. He wouldn’t be gluing himself to me if he didn’t.

I was opened completely, he had the eternal access inside my body. He wasn’t slowing down, he had all the power in the world to do with my body as he wished.

Armie turned me to my side.

“Open your eyes, Tim…”

I sobbed in his arms.

“Open your eyes, I don’t care that you’re crying.”

I opened my eyes and saw Armie for the first time, for real. The real Armie. He was all sweaty, his skin was glistening, eyes were shining, mouth opened, hot breath coming out, it was beyond warm between us.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” He moaned out.

That’s all because of me. Armie bent down and kissed me again, with tongue.

“You’re a wonder, you know that? You’re gonna be the death of me one day…”

“Armie…”

“I love you so much! I’m so lucky to have you, fuck…”

I got chills from his words, how do I respond to that? His beard was tickling me, his chest hair were tickling me, his sweaty, greasy hair was tickling me. But I didn’t more. I was way too over sensitive to react.

Armie slowed down a little but he was still pulsing deep inside of me, just where he belongs.

He kept slowing down, until he fully stopped. Then he pulled out. I felt so empty, I didn’t like the feeling. It was like a part of my body went missing, if that was even possible.

Armie let my hand go and wrapped it around my tummy, pulled me towards him when he lied down on his back. Now I was on top of him, my back glued to his sweaty and hairy chest, my legs were between his. My head fell down next to his, between his shoulder and his head, in perfect lining with his lips and my neck, his favorite place where he can devour me.

“Spread your legs.” He says touching my thighs.

I spread them around his thighs as much as I could. It doesn’t take too long when I heard him slick his already wet cock and entered me so quickly it burned me a little.

“Ah!” I gave up on trying to figure things out. Let him do it, let him be the one in charge, I fully trust him.

I doubt he could see what was happening as well, so he was relying on his own feeling too.

Armie pressed his left palm on the lower part of my stomach, and with his other hand he began stroking me again. His hands were full with lube so it was easier to move up and down. I put my left hand over his and pressed down my own stomach with him, my other hand went behind my head and I was caressing his beard.

All Armie did was pound inside me upwards. That, and also, he managed to make me feel so fucking fantastic. Now this is the position I want us to make love in forever.

God, we must’ve looked so sick and twisted, both out of breaths, sweaty, messy human beings entangled on an early morning in Rome. Time lost its part in all of this. We could’ve been late to the press and I wouldn’t give a flying fuck about it. Our phones could’ve rang many, many times and we were so into all of this that we either didn’t hear them ring, or we did but couldn’t care less. This is perfection. This is everything. Again, I found myself asking why did we wait this long to make love, why were we so stupid as to wait so long. It has to mean something, it absolutely must mean something! Why now, why this day, why this year, why this city…everything has its meaning.

I’m so close, I can’t tell him, I don’t want this to end. When it does, we have to separate our bodies, we’d have to take a shower and everything we just build will go down the drain. How do I keep him inside of me for all eternity?

He’s slowing down, he’s grunting behind me, into my neck, he’s struggling as well, he doesn’t want this to end just like me.

“Armie…” I moaned and turned around to look at him.

“Oh, baby…”

Armie’s eyes are tearing up, he squeezes them to clear the vision, but it doesn’t help.

“Armie…I love you…I don’t want…this to…sto-o-p…fuck, I’m so close! Ugh!” I’m crying as well. I can’t help it. I’m so done. With everything.

“You wanna come, baby?” Armie spoke through his tears.

I nod quickly.

Armie sped up the movement of his hand around my cock.

“Oh, oh…fuck! Fuck! Oh God!” I looked down to see what is happening.

The amount of skin two human beings can produce…I want to die like this. He’s really touching me, he’s holding my entire being at the top of his body.

“Fuck…Armie…I’m gonna come! A-ah!” I throw my head back next to his and simply gave in. I feel my cum spilling on my stomach and chest. I feel like I was having a seizure, I came so hard, even harder than last night or any other time we tried having sex. I’m shivering and hyperventilating, my every muscle is vibrating, every hair on my body stood up, I can feel every bodily fluid gather up in a balloon and that balloon finally popped.

“Yes! Baby! Just like that, oh!” He’s proud.

He’s smiling in my neck and kisses it.

“You’re my angel, look at you!”

Now, we’re both laughing and out of breath. Happy tears are streaming down my face.

“Fuck, baby, I’m close too…”

“Inside…inside me…please!” I moan, hyperventilating.

He doesn’t need to be told twice. Armie thrust inside of me couple of more times, he wraps my body with both of his arms and shivers as he started to come inside of me. I feel his hot juices fill my insides, making their place next to the last night’s semen. The image of it makes me weak. So weak. If I hadn’t just come as hard as I did, I probably would do it again just from an image of his cum spilling from my hole. One day, pretty soon, I’ll make him show me just how this actually looks for real, instead of just imagining it.

My legs gave out, his do as well a second after me.

Armie let out a loud grunt when he finished, he pulled out and let the spell break again. I can feel his cum leaking out of me for real onto the sheets. I wish I could see it.

I was weak and too tired to do anything. Fuck, we still have the entire day of working. I don’t think I’ll be able to do it. I want to sleep, and I want to sleep with him next to me.

Tonight then.

“Tim, you okay?” After some time, he asked me. I stayed on top of him.

I opened my eyes and nod with the last atom of energy in my body. He kissed my nose and smiled proudly.

“How was I?” I ask him. My eyes are losing their balance.

“You were perfect. I mean it.”

I smile, eyes closing.

“I’m tired.” I said.

“Me too…”

Armie lets go of me and I end up next to him on the bed.

“One thing though, Tim. Don’t ever ask me how were you in bed again. Just don’t.”

“Noted.” I wink at him.

Silence.

“Time?” I ask after couple of minutes.

Armie look over for his phone and turns it on.

“06:35.”

“It felt longer.” I was stunned.

“I know.”

He smiles at me.

“I don’t want to go.” I move to him and latch onto his neck. He pulled me in and embraces me.

“I don’t want to go either.” Armie whispers.

“We could sleep for a while?” I suggest.

“Oh, yes. I’m so fucking tired.” He smiles at me, kisses my nose and moved curls from my eyes.

Armie then grabs his phone.

“Set an alarm for 8:15.” I said. 45 minutes is enough to get ready.

“You don’t wanna shower?”

I looked down at our bodies. We’re a total mess. He has a point.

“Let’s just sleep, we’ll figure out the rest when we wake up.” Armie said and put his phone down.

“Mhm…”

I’m left lying on my pillow as he bent down and got the covers over us.

“Oh, baby, you’re exhausted…” Armie embraces me again, this time even closer. Or was it the same as it was the last time, only now I’m even more exhausted that I can’t process anything anymore.

I nod, eyes already falling shut.

“Tim, I want you to know that I really love. And that I’m madly in love with you and everything you do. Don’t you ever forget that.”

“I won’t, Armie. How could I ever forget you? You changed my life, you idiot.”

Armie kisses my palm and laughed.

“I love you too. So, so much…I don’t want this to end.” I said.

“It won’t…I promise you. It will never end, I won’t let it.”

Let’s say I believed him, but I was way too tired to say anything else. He kissed me once more and I fell asleep almost instantly on his sweaty and hairy chest. I was blessed and overwhelmed all at the same time, his breathing finally stabilized and I felt a tiny itch on my stomach from my own dried cum. These two days in Rome…I’m gonna remember them forever, thanks to this man I worshiped next to me.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is wehadthe-stars.


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